If I understand you well:
Contact is child here and you want just update parent object by number of child?
In that case you should create trigger(after insert, before delete) on child:
contact[] contacts;
Set<Id> parentIds = new Set<id>();
Conference__c[] contToUpdate = new Conference__c[] {};
if(trigger.old == null){
contacts = trigger.new;
}
else{
contacts = trigger.old;
}
for(Conact con : contacts){
if(con.Conference__c != null)
parentIds.add(con.Conference__c)
}
}
if(parentIds.isEmpty()){
return;
}
for(Conference__c confs = [SELECT Id, Attendance__c,
(SELECT Id
FROM Contacts__r)
FROM Conference__c
WHERE Id IN : parentIds]){
if(confs.Attendance__c != confs.Contacts__r.size()){
confs.Attendance__c = confs.Contacts__r.size()
contToUpdate.add(confs);
}
}
if(!contToUpdate.isEmpty()){
update contToUpdate;
}