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That's part of the silly issue. It blows up with a connection error, but it only does so when I'm inserting the date or boolean fields. I'm using final DateFormat outFormatter = new SimpleDateFormat("M/dd/yyyy h:mm aa"); to format my date, so it would look like "9/25/2014 5:24 AM". Are you suggesting I use the format you gave?
OK, so in our case, it turns out this was set to be the same as the name. I'm basing that on the contents of the External Key field on the web interface to the data extension.