1
The sObject method setOptions does not work (at least, I've never seen it work). Use the Database.update method instead:
Database.update(toUpdate, dmo);
1
So far, I don't see exactly how to produce the behavior you're describing. There's definitely a couple of issues here, but I can't reason out the straight line to the specific problem you articulate. If you have other automation running on this object, that's something to take into account.
I'd streamline the logic like this:
List<Contact> lstContact = ...
1
Use YYYY-MM-DD i.e 2020-07-08.
Below are the Date field acceptable formats.
YYYY-MM-DD, YYYY-MM-DD hh:mm:ss, YYYY-MM-DDThh:mm:ssZ, YYYY-MM-DDThh:mm:ss.sssZ
Date formats
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